In the 1970's a series of memorable cop shows and other crime dramas appeared on the TV airwaves.  A decade later, Tabernacle Films attempted to revive the 70's Crime Drama genre with Sloan 'N' Sloan.  Unfortunately, they failed miserably.  We interviewed the director to try to gain further insight into this disaster:

Q: So, what went wrong?

A: At Tabernacle Films, we had long recognized the manner in which circus performers increase the tension in the audience by working without a net.  In Sloan 'N' Sloan we applied this same methodology to the TV Crime Drama, by working without a script.

Q: So you feel it was the lack of a script that doomed the production?

A: Yes.  Well, that, and the lack of a plot, sets, special effects, and, actually, any kind of pre- or post-production staff or equipment whatsoever.

Q: Have you used this tragically minimalist technique on any of your other productions?

A: Yes, all of them.  Actually, equipment-wise this one was a few steps up from the others. We had a camera, a tripod and a few packs of firecrackers. That's at least two more things than we had on most of our films.

Chlorokiller.  Ah yes, what can be said about Chlorokiller that hasn't already been said.  There has been a minor nuclear power plant accident, and something is affecting the leaves in some way - more on this later...

Tabernacle Films comedy/sci-fi masterpiece has now been saved from the clutches of analog VHS EP-speed oblivion and is in the process of being rendered into the digital special effects extravaganza (well, by Tabernacle Films standards, anyway) that it always deserved to be.

Chinese detectives Wing and Wang pursue the nefarious Don Ho brothers.

Trailer for upcoming Chinese Connection sequel

A teaser trailer announcing the return of the Chinese detectives in their first new adventure in 20 years.

An evilly possessed, yet misunderstood, ventriloquist dummy exacts revenge on those who would mock it.

Who can forget this classic episode from the early days of television?

Chris

An evilly possessed, yet misunderstood, moped exacts revenge on those who would mock it.

The Ax Man terrorizes unsuspecting campers.

Ax Man II

The Ax Man terrorizes unsuspecting campers again.

Night of the Ax Man (Trailer)

With the population of unsuspecting campers in steady decline, the Ax Man takes to the streets to terrorize unsuspecting skateboarders.

(Ok, so this is presented as the Night of the Ax Man Trailer, but in reality it is practically the whole actual movie.  The only part missing is the pitch black, walking through the woods part right after the skateboard scene and right before we gave up and/or the battery ran out.  It just seemed to make a better trailer than a movie.)

Mistakes Dead People Make

Machetes.  Motorcycles.  Mistakes.  These are the elements that combine to form 48 seconds of sheer mayhem.  This was the first version of Mistakes Dead People Make that was insufficiently produced by Tabernacle Films.  We later did a slightly less-not-fully-produced remake of this film.  In fact, it was later the same afternoon -- approximately three minutes later, if I recall.  Yes, in a move unprecedented in film history, Tabernacle Films actually did an unfinished remake of a film before even having watched, or finished, the first version of the movie.

Yet, it was evident on the set of the remake that things weren't going well.  Everyone sensed, somehow, that we were failing to recapture the raw energy that we would eventually realize had permeated this original version once, in retrospect, we had actually seen it and, more so, imagined having actually finished it.  After all, the original version would have been a classic, we would later realize, and we weren't doing its theoretical fully finished existence justice, it would become apparent later on.  "We must try harder to live up to the expectations of the fans!" we realized we should have said at that point had we only known that later we would watch the original version and visualize actually having finished it and the legion of cult-like fans that it would have attracted.

So here is that original, classic version, in its full non-entirety, with a new half-baked soundtrack and several additional unfinished finishing touches.

The Changing

A strange vial of medicine triggers an unexpected physical transformation in an unsuspecting ice fisherman.

The Ring

A strange ring triggers an unexpected behavioral transformation in an unsuspecting video game player.  (No, not that The Ring.  Tabernacle Films was the first to use that title for a horror movie.  However, the original working title was "The Thing in the Box in the Corner of the Basement in the House at the End of the Street.")